Five Ridiculous Diets People were Crazy Enough to Try!
You’ve got your wedding booked at Kippure Estate. You’ve bought the perfect dress and everyone’s going to be there. The only problem is that as the big day draws near, you start to worry about fitting into your dress.
In desperation, you feel like you’ll do anything to lose weight fast, but be careful. Some diets range from the silly to the outright dangerous.
Before you do something daft, look at what NOT to do when dieting to fit into your wedding dress.
The Cotton Ball Diet
Eating cotton balls tricks your body into feeling full so you don’t have to bother with pesky, fattening food. To improve the flavour, dip the cotton in orange juice, but watch out – 25 grams add a whopping 14 calories.
You’ll definitely lose weight. The problem is we can’t digest cotton, so as long as you’re happy to have your flat stomach with a side order of aspiration, twisted intestines, bowel obstruction and necrosis, this one’s a winner!
The Apple Cider Vinegar Diet
Drink a few teaspoons of cider vinegar in water before you eat your calorie controlled meal and let the vinegar do its job.
Surprisingly, this works, but only because of the smaller portions. You might as well save yourself the unpleasantness of downing vinegar and skip straight to a conventional diet.
The Cigarette Diet
How many people do you know who say they can’t stop smoking because they don’t want to put on weight? Some have started smoking to control their weight.
Back in the 1920s, Lucky Strike used the slogan “Reach for a Lucky instead of a sweet” and saw cigarette sales skyrocket. It wasn’t until years later that people realised that they weren’t just getting smaller waistlines. They were also developing lines around their mouth and all sorts of nasty cancers.
The Lemonade Diet
If you’ve only got a couple of weeks before you’re due to come to Kippure Estate for your wedding, give the lemonade diet a try. Beyoncé did this one when she wanted to lose weight for Dreamgirls, so it must be good.
Mix lemon juice, maple syrup, cayenne pepper and filtered water to create your own ‘lemonade’. Live off this concoction for two weeks and watch the pounds melt away, along with your social life as you turn into a fiery ball of rage because you’re constantly starving.
The Cabbage Soup Diet
You’ve probably already heard of this one. As the name suggests, consume a low-calorie cabbage soup for seven days and nothing else. It’s claimed to melt 10 pounds within a week, although plenty of diet experts would beg to differ.
Before you reach for the cabbages, bear in mind that most of the weight you’ll lose is water, so it’s not permanent. If that isn’t enough to put you off, you might want to consider the fact that it’s a high sodium, low protein diet and you’ll feel weak all the time.
Oh yes. And you’ll do a lot what children would call “botty-burps”.
Whatever you decide to do to fit into your wedding dress, don’t worry. While we can’t tell you how to diet, the team at Kippure Estate will make sure your big day really is the best day of your life.